Hi!
I would say go to Gary Craig's website and the archives and do a search for PTSD and see what comes up. Also check out the "Movie technique" for ideas on how to break down your experience into the smallest, simplest bits possible. You might consider tapping around the issue and not even naming it if you're having too much trouble facing it. And be kind with yourself, forgiving- if it's that big an issue then you need kindness and gentleness big time, don't you!
As for categorizing you emotions, I think you answered your question in your post and even highlighted it in red: Anger.
This Red Anger.
Where does it live? Does it have a shape? A texture? An odor? Does it have another name? Do you remember what triggered your first experience with this red anger? If you allow it to speak to you, what does it say? Or can it not use words yet because it's too angry?
If that's too scary- and it sure might be, especially if you're working alone- you can try breaking down what you wrote in your post into even smaller bits:
I don't know how to name my emotions around this PTSD/event/problem
It's been going on for soooo long...
I'm afraid it's too big to break into little bits...
I'm afraid it's stuck inside me forever...
I'll never be free of this PTSD/event/problem...
I hate this PTSD/event/problem...
I am so angry about the PTSD/event/problem!...
It's ruining my life...
It's keeping me away from being happy...
From being free...
(Or words like those- of course you don't have to use my words! Your own will be much better.)
Then you might try,
What if I could name my emotions around this problem?
Would this be too frightening? Too much like the original experience? How about a recent, much smaller experience that might trigger your PTSD- you might be able to dissect that and deal with it almost like practice for the original event.
Anger is often paired with grief, and depression is often paired with unexpressed anger- so really, having that anger come up so blatantly is probably a good thing- it's being very clear, at least, isn't it? If you have any physical symptoms of illness or discomfort you could try tapping on them as well- all those emotions you've got in you may be expressing themselves through your body... Louise L. Hay's book, "Heal Your Body" is a useful tool to have around. I got a new copy through Barnes & Noble for about $6.00. Hay says that anger can manifest as impatience, irritation, frustration, criticism, resentment, jealousy or bitterness. So there are some names for emotions associated with anger.
My own recent experience:
The other day I saw a very distressing event, which I won't go into here as what it was is not important. The thing is, it really hurt to see. To do EFT on it I had to start even before the event happened:
Even though I'm so happy and (this scene) is so peaceful...
I tapped on that until my heart rate subsided and I stopped crying. Then I went on to:
I really don't want to see what happens next...
That brought another flood of tears and so I tapped on this until I stopped crying again and could blow my nose and breathe calmly. Then I tapped on:
I see so many things that hurt!
And boy howdy was that a hard one- so many images from the past came up, things I had seen that I simply could do nothing about. I tapped and tapped and tapped... and finally I calmed enough to go on, which I did until I'd tapped through each little step of what I'd seen. I'm still not happy about what I saw but it's not constantly filling my mind and making me cry my eyes out.
I just posted a "new subject" about using Reiki with EFT and I think if I'd had the ability at the time the process would have been much faster and certainly easier. I highly recommend learning it- I've just gotten my first attunement and holey-moley it was an eye-opening experience and I am SO GLAD I'm learning it! Reiki and EFT should be just about the most unbeatable combination ever.
Here's who I learned it from:
http://www.shamanelder.com/Shaman Maggie is my teacher and she's been just incredibly wonderful. I highly recommend her.
Namaste.
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